just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
