I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sorry about my life...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
