Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
you would pick up someone in the library
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
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Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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