garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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