After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
