He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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