god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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