My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
