I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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