that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
