a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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