Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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