Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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