i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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