I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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