just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
