So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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