Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
