Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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