They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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