I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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