Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
