the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
