My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
