Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
