Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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