I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
