what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
