So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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