I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
