he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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