think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
