Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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