my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
