I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
