God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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