omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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