How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
