Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
