And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
