You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
