My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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