I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
