You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
