It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
