pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
