White coat. Heels.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
