is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
