we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
