handjob tips. give me some.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
