I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
