he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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