I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This is my gift to your gina
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She has the best kind of daddy issues
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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