Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just found a bag of teeth...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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