you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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