Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
