It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize