party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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