his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
