I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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