there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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