Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
