my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
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He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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