Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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