whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize